This archive report was first published on 18 November 2019.
Confessions: A Marriage on the Rocks ¶
Published on November 18, 2019
My marriage has been a difficult journey, and I'm not sure where to start. I love my wife, but she has a habit of flirting with men, even in my presence. It's not just a casual conversation; she goes out with them and claims it's just a good time. Lately, she's become distant and unresponsive, answering 'I don't know' to every question I ask. Two weeks ago, I couldn't take it anymore and beat her up, chasing her away from our house. Now, I'm desperate to win her back, but I'm not sure how to live with someone who flirts and entertains people who lust after her.
One of the readers, Andrew Didy Chaplin, shared his thoughts on the matter: 'It's annoying for a spouse to continually flirt with members of the opposite sex. This can easily put their trustworthiness into question.' Another reader, Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo, suggested that my wife might be flirting with other men because they buy her goodies or she enjoys their company more than mine.
Relationships counsellor, Hilda Boke Mahare, offered some insight: 'Woman need attention. Attention is major for women. It keeps women going and glowing. Unfortunately, many men stop giving it to their wives once in marriage.' She suggested that my wife might be seeking attention from other men because I wasn't providing it.
Simon Anyona, another relationships counsellor, shared his thoughts: 'Appreciation is essentially relative and it means different things to different people and in different circumstances.' He suggested that my wife might be flirting with other men to attract their attention and lead them to believe she's interested in them.
While my feelings of anger and resentment towards my wife are valid, I realize that my act of violence was not the solution. I'm now left wondering how to win her back and whether it's even possible to live with someone who flirts and entertains people who lust after her.
