CAPTION: Mediocre Kenyan mumble rapper Khaligraph Jones and his EX Girlfriend Miss Cashy Over time, Kenyan artistes have suffered from the same chronic problem; their inability to get creative and their undying love for cheap publicity. They crave more attention than your average three-year-old kid.
It is this same love for cheap publicity and outright foolishness that made washed out Kenyan artiste Jackson Makini, also known as Prezzo, hire a chopper from Wilson Airport just to get into Carnivore, less than a kilometer away, where he was set to perform in 2003.
Just like African customs were passed down from one generation to another, this mortifying habit has found its way to the current Kenyan music scene.
When contemporary urban songwriter and singer Otile Brown burst onto the scene a few years ago, people genuinely loved him for his music. The young man born and raised in the coastal city of Mombasa was living the "Nairobian dream". His songs graced every club, matatu, and shop in town. And as a way of, perhaps, showing he appreciated the support, Otile kept the hits coming until a few months ago when the deadly virus caught up with him as well.
He quickly turned from the breath of fresh air that he previously was to just the common Kenyan secular artiste who flaunts his wads of cash, finds himself a girlfriend, publicizes their relationship and then comes the chaotic, messy breakup followed by unnecessary "revelations" from both parties on what led to what in the relationship. Followed by long Instagram captions accompanied by screenshots of their conversations and sometimes M-Pesa statements as "evidence" of who bought this for the other or who owes the other money.
It is never a complete celebrity breakup until one of the parties accuses the other of either being physically, emotionally abusive or being below "acceptable standards" once the bedroom doors are locked.
So, when I saw the latest tug of war between mediocre Kenyan artiste Khaligraph Jones and his EX partner Miss Cashy, I knew it was just one of those cheap publicity stunts aimed at rescuing their quickly dwindling relevance.
As focused artistes like Henry Ohanga, popularly known as Octopizzo choose to keep their personal private lives private and let their music do the talking, others like the self-proclaimed "Mr. International" just can't seem to keep their mouths shut, always blethering utter bullshit with their fake accents picked up in Donholm.
So to Khaligraph, his EX, and any other Kenyan artiste who might be thinking of following in their footsteps and pulling such crap, we won't allow it. Leave such games for these upcoming Generation Z artistes like the TNT boys who, by the way, make much better music.
I am certain, Kenyans have much more important things worth giving their precious attention other than your dirty linen. Kindly give us a break.
[easy-tweet tweet="Dear Khaligraph Jones And Miss Cashy, We Are Tired Of The Shenanigans" user="TeddyMunene" usehashtags="no"]