This archive report was first published on 25 May 2020.
He Died at War. The Pandemic Gave Me Time to Grieve. ¶
It was a chance encounter at the gym that brought Diego D. Pongo and I together. Neither of us was looking for a relationship, but fate had other plans. I was preparing to deploy to Iraq for six months, and he was focused on being a good parent to his young daughter. We exchanged numbers, and our first date was a long walk through the marshes surrounding North Topsail Beach, North Carolina. Little did we know, our relationship would be put to the test by the challenges of war and distance.
On New Year's Eve, a week before I deployed, we officially became a couple. Diego sent me a letter from Iraq, saying, 'I was pretty fortunate that you stalked me in the gym, it's just an example of your perseverance!' It was our first inside joke, and one that would stay with me throughout our time together.
From Iraq, I sent him letters, poems, and lyrics from Taylor Swift. He loved writing letters by hand, and I was impressed by his dedication to our long-distance relationship. The military mail service was slow, but it didn't matter – we made it work. When I returned home in summer 2018, we continued to build our life together. But our happiness was short-lived, as Diego's deployment to Iraq loomed ahead.
On March 8, 2020, Diego and Marine Capt. Moises Navas were killed by enemy fire in northern Iraq. It was a devastating blow, and one that would change my life forever. Before he left, Diego gave me his brother's phone number in case anything happened. When I received the call, I screamed in shock and grief. I thought of Diego's 8-year-old daughter, whom he loved above all else, and the false positive pregnancy test I had in November. I felt guilty and unfaithful, wondering if I would ever find love again.
Diego's death was a reminder of the sacrifices made by those who serve. He was a rare balance of tenderness and toughness, and his loss left a gaping hole in my life. I took medication to sleep, but waking up without him next to me was almost worse than the dreams. I wrote letters to Diego and even to my hypothetical future partner, asking him to always honor the man whose death brought us together.
Diego's daughter shares his facial expressions, and I cherish the memories we made together, including our trip to Disney World. He gave me one half of a two-piece princess souvenir pin that formed a heart, and I kept it on my bathroom counter until I mailed my final letter to him. Enclosed was one half of the heart, the Belle piece, and I will hold on to Beast forever.
As the pandemic paused everything, including Diego's funeral, I was given time to process my grief. I will always remember Diego's magnetism, his perfectly coiffed hair, and his love for his daughter. He taught her to play with Legos, fill in coloring books, and practice her multiplication tables. He was a true hero, and his memory will live on in my heart.
