This archive report was first published on 16 May 2020.
On a typical morning, a woman called me in distress. Her relationship was on life support, and she was torn between leaving and staying. The story began with roses and chocolates, but soon turned sour when her husband went abroad for work and communication ceased.
Weeks turned into months, and she discovered he was seeing other people. Despite this, she had two children with him. Last month, after the pandemic, he returned home, but his wandering ways continued.
She knew she should leave, but he refused to let her go. I asked her why, and she replied, 'Why won't he let me go if he doesn't want me?' My response was that he likely loves having control over her and is making demands because she lets him.
It's astonishing how love can cloud common sense. Women often get into relationships with men who show them they don't want to be together in the long term. However, there are benefits for the man, such as sex, domestic help, or financial support.
He may blow hot and cold, showing her how little she means to him, but if she wants to leave, he'll say nice things to make her stay. Many women, like the one who called me, let these sweet words become the chains that keep them in a relationship that's taking from them and going nowhere.
The plain truth is that just because a man chases you doesn't mean he wants a serious relationship. Begging you not to leave doesn't mean he thinks the relationship is good or that he wants a happy ever after. It's possible he's just convenient and easy, and he keeps calling because he doesn't want to burn bridges.
Being an adult woman means taking charge of your life. You're not a toy for someone to pick up and drop when they see a shinier one. It's not up to the person you're dating or married to decide when you should leave a relationship. Don't let lies put you on a leash; stop dwelling on apologies, nice words, or contact attempts. If he treats you like you don't matter, you don't.
