This archive report was first published on 9 May 2020.
On a sunny morning in May 2020, Rose called me at 7am, her voice filled with excitement. She had just given birth to a healthy baby girl.
"We have gone a full cycle; I am a mother; can you imagine it?" she exclaimed over the phone.
It was a momentous occasion, especially considering the couple's seven-year unconsummated marriage. I had met Rose and her husband, Richard, two years prior. At the time, Rose was 34, and Richard was 36. Despite being married for seven years, they had not been able to consummate their marriage.
Family pressure had been mounting, with Richard's mother threatening to get him another wife if he didn't produce an heir. I asked Rose and Richard if they had seen a doctor to help resolve the issue. They both fell silent, and I sensed that there was more to the story.
"We live like brother and sister," Rose said, her voice barely above a whisper. I pressed her for more information, and she revealed that they had never had sex in their seven years of marriage.
As a medical professional, I knew that unconsummated marriages were often shrouded in silence and embarrassment. I decided to explore the reasons behind Rose and Richard's situation, ruling out one cause after another.
Failure to consummate a marriage can be due to various factors, including anatomical problems, premature ejaculation, or severe pain in women. In some cases, sexual desire disorders can also be the underlying issue.
After conducting a thorough examination, I discovered that Richard had a curved penis, which made penetrative sex impossible. I made a diagnosis of congenital curvature of the penis and referred Richard for corrective surgery.
It took almost a month for the wound to heal, and then the couple underwent sex coaching to help them develop the necessary skills for a smooth start. By the third month, they had achieved intimacy, and it took another 10 months for conception to occur.
As I reflected on the couple's journey, I realized that unconsummated marriages were often the result of a complex interplay of physical, emotional, and psychological factors. It was a reminder that every individual's experience was unique and deserving of compassion and understanding.
