This archive report was first published on 6 May 2020.
Condoling someone who has lost a loved one can be a challenging task, especially when you're unsure of what to say. While there's no perfect phrase, there are certain things you should avoid saying to avoid causing further pain.
One such phrase is 'I know how you feel.' Although you may have experienced a loss in the past, the circumstances and relationship with the deceased were likely different from the person you're condoling.
Another phrase to avoid is 'You will get another.' This is particularly hurtful when someone has lost a child, as it implies that they can simply replace the person they've lost. However, this is not always possible, and such comments can be insensitive.
Additionally, telling someone who has lost a spouse that they are 'still too young' can be uncalled for. This phrase can be perceived as minimizing their loss and may not take into account the complexities of their relationship.
Lastly, saying 'It was God's plan' can be seen as insensitive and dismissive of the person's feelings. While the Bible may say that God's plans are of good and not of evil, this phrase can come across as a simplistic explanation for a complex and painful loss.
