This archive report was first published on 5 May 2020.
Love in the Time of Quarantine ¶
As the world grapples with the COVID-19 pandemic, romantic relationships are put to the test. Couples are forced to navigate the challenges of living in close quarters, and the lines between love and dependency are blurred.
For Rose, a 40-year-old PR Director, the stress of living with her husband and two sons has taken a toll on her mental health. 'I just want to go for a daily long walk by myself; not with the kids, not even with the dogs!' she declares. 'It is not that I don’t love them. I am not angry at them or anything. I just want an hour to myself; time when I don’t have to anticipate anyone else’s needs but mine.'
According to clinical psychologist Caroline Mwakio, emotional maturity is key to navigating the challenges of romantic relationships. 'We tend to think that the difference between good and bad lies in the quality of the events. But to a surprising extent, the difference actually lies in the way each of us is able to interpret events.'
Psychiatrist Scott Peck agrees, writing in his classic bestseller, The Road Less Travelled, that 'real love is not necessarily a ‘feeling’; it is when we ‘act lovingly despite the fact that we don’t feel loving/good’.
As the pandemic continues to unfold, couples are being forced to confront the reality of their relationships. For Joan, who is stuck in Nairobi with her boyfriend who is in America, the uncertainty of their future together is taking a toll on her mental health. 'I was supposed to go visit him when I went on leave in May. But now...' she shrugs. 'do you realise that I don’t know whether I will ever see him again? Like, literally, no one knows about tomorrow!'
As the world navigates the challenges of the pandemic, one thing is clear: romance will not save your love now, emotional maturity will.
