This archive report was first published on 4 January 2020.
When we're in love, it's easy to overlook red flags in our partner. But controlling behavior can be just as damaging as physical abuse.
Here are four signs you might be dating a toxic man:
1. He tries to isolate you from friends and family ¶
A controlling partner will often try to create a wedge between you and the people who love and support you. He might speak rudely about your friends, tell you who you shouldn't hang out with, or complain about how often you talk to your parents or siblings.
This is a major red flag, as it can lead to you losing touch with your support network and becoming emotionally dependent on your partner.
2. He criticizes you constantly ¶
At first, his criticism might seem like helpful advice or 'supportive' language. But over time, it can become a constant reminder that you're not good enough. He might tell you that you need to dress better, cook better, or be a better person, and use 'jokes' to make you feel bad about yourself.
This can erode your self-confidence and make you rely on your partner for validation.
3. He uses threats to control you ¶
A controlling partner will often use threats to get what he wants. He might threaten to take away your phone, end his life if you break up with him, or use other forms of emotional blackmail.
These threats can be a sign of a deeper issue, and may escalate to physical violence if left unchecked.
4. He tries to change your mind and manipulate your views ¶
A controlling partner might try to change your long-held beliefs or manipulate you into doing things his way. He'll use guilt, shame, or other tactics to make you feel bad about having a different view.
If you notice these signs in your partner, it's time to take a step back and re-evaluate the relationship.
