This archive report was first published on 17 December 2019.
Christmas after Divorce: Tips for Making it Merry for Kids ¶
Christmas can be a tricky time for families, but it's especially hard for families where the parents are recently divorced or in the process of separating.
According to Sarah Ockwell-Smith, author of The Gentle Parenting Book, making all festive decisions with the children's best interests at heart is crucial.
She advises against following a 'rule-book' for co-parenting at Christmas, instead focusing on the unique situation and needs of each child.
When it comes to splitting the holidays, Sarah suggests listening to the children and what they want, which can often differ from what the parents want.
She emphasizes that it's better for a child to have two happy parents in different locations than two miserable ones trying to fake it together.
For some families, taking turns each year works well, while others prefer spending Christmas Day with one parent and Boxing Day at the other.
Ultimately, the decision should be made as a family, including the children.
When it comes to gift-giving, Sarah warns against trying to buy love and affection from children by outdoing the other parent with expensive gifts.
Instead, she suggests agreeing on big purchases together and going shopping with the children to give them an amount of money to buy a present for the other parent.
This can be a lovely activity to do with the children, boost their Christmas spirit, and show respect for the other parent.
When introducing new partners to children at Christmas, Sarah advises being guided by the children, especially if the partner is new.
She suggests aiming for a pressure-free fun activity for an hour or two, rather than spending the whole day together on Christmas Day.
