This archive report was first published on 12 December 2019.
As the holiday season approaches, many people are reminded of the loved ones they have lost. For those who have experienced the pain of grief, the joy and celebration of the season can be a bittersweet reminder of what they have lost.
For Iminza Turere, the loss of her mother was a devastating blow. 'When you lose a loved one, the empathy of everyone known to you is showered upon you,' she says. 'But the reality of it all dawns right after the burial when everyone goes back to their homes, to their lives, to their realities.'
Many people struggle to cope with grief because they feel that others won't understand what they're going through. They may also feel guilty for burdening others with their pain. But the truth is, grief is a process that can take a lifetime to deal with, and everyone handles it differently.
For Jane Muriuki, the loss of her father was a traumatic experience. 'I remember when I first heard the news,' she says. 'It was at night and what they told us is that dad was in hospital nursing serious injuries.' But the truth was much worse - her father had been dead for some time, and the family had been lied to.
Both Iminza and Jane have found it difficult to talk to their loved ones about their grief. 'I felt like I was derailing them while they were trying to find healing and move on,' Iminza says. 'It was like they didn't want to talk.' But talking to someone, whether it's a friend, family member, or counselor, can be an important part of the healing process.
As the holiday season approaches, it's worth remembering that grief is a journey that can take a lifetime to complete. It's okay to feel angry, bitter, or sad, and it's okay to take your time to heal. And if you're struggling to cope with grief, don't be afraid to reach out for help.
