This archive report was first published on 3 December 2019.
With the holiday season in full swing, many Kenyans are reflecting on their relationships and marriages. In a recent conversation, several individuals shared their unconventional reasons for tying the knot, revealing that societal pressure and the quest for a perfect partner often play a significant role.
According to some, the decision to get married is often driven by external factors, such as pressure from parents and society, rather than a deep emotional connection with the partner.
‘Sometimes you are under so much pressure from parents, and the society as a whole, so you just pick one woman and marry her. In most instances, you don’t love her.’
Others have shared that they choose their partners based on their ability to mold them into the perfect spouse, rather than accepting them for who they are.
‘You pick that mad person and make them what you want them to be. When you know what irks them, you try and stay away from it. If you want a perfect person, you will wait for your whole life, story ni kutengenezana.’
One individual, Henry, shared his personal experience of being married for eight years before realizing that his partner was not the right fit for him.
‘I was married to someone for 8 years. The first four years were perfect, but between the 5th and 6th year is when trouble started. She left and moved around with other men before she realized all men are dodges. She then decided to come back to me, but I had already moved on.’
Henry also shared that he found his current partner at 25 years old and that she was still a virgin. He credits God for their successful marriage.
‘I thank God for her every day. We have had a very sweet marriage. Life depends on the decisions you make and how you take life.’
Another individual, Captain Kale, expressed his frustration with women who claim to be independent but ultimately prove to be unsuitable partners.
‘I think you always meet garbage type of women, women who don’t have any future as far as marriage is concerned. Wale wanawake wa “I can do without a man” kosokoso saitan, tell them to come meet some of us, senji nugu.’
These candid confessions highlight the complexities of marriage and relationships in Kenya, where societal expectations and personal desires often collide.
