This archive report was first published on 23 November 2019.
According to a recent survey, a significant number of Kenyan women have confessed to having backup men in case their relationships with their spouses do not work out.
One woman, who wished to remain anonymous, shared her experience, saying, 'Stima ikipotea lazima ukue na back up.' (Translation: 'When the husband loses his charm, you need a backup.')
She revealed that she has been married for seven years and has a man on the side, whom she calls whenever things are not working with her husband.
Another woman, Mary, said, 'Backup ni lazima, I have had a backup man since 2013 because men started it. You cheat and you expect us to forgive. They cheat once, twice, and then you now decide to let him cheat. So my side guy is majorly to console me when I am down.'
She added that she does not regret having a backup man and is not guilty about it.
Another woman, Njoki, shared her experience, saying, 'I have been married for 10 years and every year my husband has cheated on me with two women. Recently I contemplated suicide but someone came into my life and I am so happy.'
She revealed that she is always praying for when her husband will go on safari so that she can meet her side guy.
On the other hand, some men have confessed to knowing about their wives' infidelity and have even moved on.
One man, Robert, said, 'To my wife I am number two or three. I am 100% sure but I decided to move on. If you get into a marriage thinking that it's a one man one woman type of relationship then you have no business being in marriage.'
Another man shared his experience, saying, 'I have found my wife with another man. But what can you do. Sometimes you just look at them and they pretend how they have missed you, even though they have been with another man a few hours before.'
He added that people are living together only because of the kids.
Another man narrated how he painfully watched his wife being taken to a lodging.
He said, 'I saw my wife with another man. I followed them one day. Wakaenda mpaka kwa hoteli… I even called her and she lied straight to my face telling me she's with her friend to top it all off, I know this guy.'
Published on November 23, 2019.
