This archive report was first published on 5 November 2019.
On November 5, 2019, Lynette Mukami wrote about the unspoken expectations placed on female leaders in her article 'In defence of female leaders who aren’t ‘nice’.'
She recalled her primary school days, where the most feared teachers were those who were strict and firm, yet not necessarily 'nice'. Mr Komen, a teacher who used the cane liberally, was respected for his authority, while Ms Njoki, the school proprietor, was viewed as less likable despite being equally strict.
As an adult, Mukami realized that the dynamics of leadership, gender, and perception played out in her school were a reflection of a broader societal expectation. Women leaders are often expected to be warm, nice, and ladylike, a trait that can be a double-edged sword, leaving them in a catch-22 situation.
Research, including a study published in the Harvard Business Review, has shown that female leaders are expected to be competent, firm, and warm, yet these traits are often seen as opposites. This expectation is not unique to the US, as women in Kenyan politics, corporate, and business also face similar challenges.
Women leaders must navigate male-dominated professional spaces, often self-policing their tone, proof-reading their emails, and mastering the art of biting their tongue. If they succeed in breaking the glass ceiling, the yoke of niceness will always be there to remind them to stay in line.
As writer Greer Litton Fox theorized, the societal expectation of being a nice girl is rooted in social control, a strategy used to regulate and exert control over women's behavior. Women are rewarded when they present as ladylike, demure, and likeable, an invisible rule that cuts across class, race, and marital status.
Mukami praises women who break away from the prescribed mould of female leadership, demanding a public performance of niceness, but rarely expecting the same from their male counterparts. The Millie Odhiambos and Martha Karuas of this world are a refreshing reminder that women can be their authentic selves and still have a place in the world.
