This archive report was first published on 4 November 2019.
Published on November 4, 2019, Anita's situation has sparked a heated debate among readers.
She wrote to us, 'I feel like the worst person in the world. I am in love with a man who was supposed to marry my cousin in December last year. He left her for me and we have actually been living together for the last 10 months.'
Boke Mahare, a Counselling Psychologist, responded to Anita's letter, saying, 'You are at that point that people who hurt others and take advantage of situations never imagine that will ever come. This guy broke up with your cousin a month to the wedding without an explanation and you were okay with that? Are you that naive?'
Boke also questioned Anita's intentions, saying, 'You also must have been so envious of your cousin all this while and have just been waiting for the opportune time to strike.'
Other readers shared their thoughts on the situation, with some advising Anita to take her time and think about the consequences of her actions.
Simon Anyona, a relationships counsellor, warned Anita that her family may not take kindly to her relationship with the man who left his fiancée, saying, 'You will be labelled a backstabber, a cheap and mot female members of your extended family will want nothing to do with you.'
Simon also pointed out that Anita's family may opt to return the dowry that was paid and carry out some rituals to end the former union, which could be embarrassing and humiliating for both parties.
