This archive report was first published on 2 November 2019.
Infidelity can be a painful and confusing experience, especially when it involves a spouse. For Jane, a 35-year-old married woman with two children, discovering her husband's infidelity was a traumatic event that left her feeling angry, devastated, and confused.
According to research, more than half of spouses cheat on each other, and up to 80 per cent of people in long-term relationships have cheated at some point. This statistic can be comforting for those who have experienced infidelity, as it shows that they are not alone in their pain.
When dealing with infidelity, it's essential to avoid two problematic tendencies: making a life-changing decision without much reflection and seeking revenge. While divorce may seem like a viable option, it's often premature and can lead to more harm than good. Revenge, on the other hand, can manifest in various ways, including broadcasting the issue to relatives and friends, telling children about the incident, and engaging in angry communication or violence.
Instead of taking revenge, it's crucial to take charge of the situation and focus on self-care. This can include maintaining a routine, going to work, taking time to pamper oneself, and spending quality time with friends and family. It's also essential to shield children from the emotional trauma of infidelity and keep the story to oneself until both partners are ready to reveal it.
Ultimately, the future of a relationship after infidelity is decided months after counseling, genuine change in the spouse, and reflection on one's ability to trust again. By managing anger and focusing on self-care, individuals can navigate the difficult times and work towards healing and rebuilding their relationship.
