This archive report was first published on 21 October 2019.
Financial Insecurity and Marriage Pressure ¶
Published on October 21, 2019
A 29-year-old man is facing a dilemma with his 28-year-old fiancée, who is God-fearing and has a well-paying job. She has been very supportive, but recently started saying she needs to settle down by the end of the year. The man is jobless and feels that starting a family is not right for them when he is not financially stable.
His fiancée claims to love him, but is putting pressure on him to marry her. She also claims that there are many other men pursuing her for marriage, but she keeps turning them down because of him. The man is unsure of what to do and is seeking advice on how to solve this problem.
Several readers have weighed in on the situation, offering their opinions and advice. Some have suggested that the man should get a job or start a business to support himself and his future family. Others have advised him to communicate openly with his fiancée and discuss their thoughts and feelings about marriage and starting a family.
One reader, Hilda Boke Mahare, a Counselling Psychology expert, has suggested that the man's feeling of inadequacy may be the root of the problem. She advises him to be honest with himself and his fiancée, and to consider ending the relationship if he cannot overcome his insecurities.
Another reader, Simon Anyona, a relationships counsellor, has suggested that the man should understand the context and underlying factors of the situation before making any decisions. He advises the man to state categorically that he is not ready to marry at the moment, and to give his fiancée the option to leave if she is not willing to wait.
