This archive report was first published on 1 October 2019.
On a sunny day in October 2019, a group of friends gathered to discuss a pressing question: how to stay calm emotionally when surrounded by whiners.
One of the friends shared a story about his boss, who seemed to find nothing to be happy about, no matter the circumstances. The boss was a master of finding fault in even the smallest things, from the sun's rays to a cold day.
According to the boss, the sun was bad for us all, leading to skin cancer and the death of plants. A cold day, on the other hand, was a harbinger of pneumonia and death. The boss's cousin had died in England a few years earlier, and he was convinced that it was due to a cold-related illness.
When the end-of-year results were announced, the boss was predictably unhappy, lamenting the company's mediocre profits and the laziness of its employees. It seemed that nothing could make him happy, not even profits or successes.
A young psychologist in attendance offered his insight into the boss's behavior, attributing it to an 'anal retentive personality.' He explained that this type of personality was rooted in the Freudian theory, which posits that difficulties in childhood, such as trauma or punishment, can lead to obsessive behavior in adulthood.
The psychologist went on to describe the stages of development in children, including the oral and anal phases. He noted that problems during the anal stage, such as excessive punishment or trauma, can lead to retention of feces and, in adulthood, to obsessionality and a preoccupation with detail.
Another friend shared a story about his boss, who was notorious for his workaholic tendencies. He would often work late into the night and arrive at the office by 6 am, unable to delegate tasks or trust others to handle responsibilities.
It was later revealed that the boss's difficult childhood, including being separated from his mother during the Mau Mau war and being moved from one aunt to another, had contributed to his anal retentive personality.
As the friends reflected on their experiences, they came to a realization: a little more understanding and empathy towards others might make life easier. Perhaps seeking knowledge and understanding could bring liberation, or perhaps finding like-minded individuals could provide a sense of belonging.
