This archive report was first published on 23 September 2019.
Red Flags in a Two-Year Relationship ¶
As a 20-year-old woman, I've been dating my 27-year-old boyfriend for two years now. Despite our long-term relationship, I still don't know where he lives, nor have I met any of his family members or close friends. He always gives me excuses, saying we'll visit his home someday, but that day never comes.
He claims his family lives in rural areas, and he has few friends that I've never met. I love him deeply, but I'm confused by his behavior. He's promised to marry me, but I'm not sure if he's being sincere.
According to readers, there are several red flags in our relationship. Lillian Musembi notes that two years is a long time to date someone without understanding them. She warns that he might be using me for the moment and will leave me stranded.
Another reader, Rose Muthoni, suggests that I work to make him trust me and share his fears with me. However, she advises keeping a distance from his friends.
Isaac Ngugi believes that the writing is on the wall – my boyfriend might be married and have a family. He advises me to ask him where he lives and to take me there. He also warns that I could be dating a thug or someone who's putting up with friends.
Onyango Outha agrees that my boyfriend is not honest with me and may be out to ruin my future. He warns that he might even impregnate me and then disappear.
Boke, a counselling psychologist, advises me to treat this matter as a matter of personal safety. She suggests slowing down the relationship until I'm comfortable with the facts I've gathered about him. She also warns that he might be hiding something, and it's not too late to learn about him.
Simon, a relationships counsellor, notes that my boyfriend is taking me for a ride. He advises me to think critically about the situation and consider the age factor – a five-year age difference. He warns that my boyfriend might already be married or in a serious relationship, which could explain his anonymous profile.
Simon also advises me to slow down and give myself time to grow physically and emotionally. He warns that men will often take advantage of young women like me and then leave without a trace.
Published on September 23, 2019, at 8:30 am.
