This archive report was first published on 21 September 2019.
On a recent visit to Murang'a County, I came across a story that left me perplexed. An 81-year-old man, Francis Muthua, returned to his wife and six children after 51 years. His wife, Wanjiru Muthua, had raised their six children alone while he lived in various places, remarried, and even had a son.
What struck me was the grand welcome the villagers prepared for him, as if the past 51 years didn't matter. This story reminded me of a bridal shower I attended, where a senga advised us that a man will always come back to his partner. She cited reasons such as lack of sex, regret, or loneliness.
However, I have a problem with this assumption. It places the responsibility of a relationship solely on the woman, implying that she didn't do something right. I also take issue with the idea of waiting for a man to sow his wild oats and hope he returns. Life is too short to wait for someone to make up their mind.
A friend of a friend's experience illustrates this point. Her 'man' met another woman, courted her, and even wedded her while she was still waiting for him to make up his mind. She took a loan to pay for his honeymoon, only to find out he had forgotten to mention his new wife.
Don't let someone make a fool of you. If someone wants to leave, let them go. Believe them when they break up with you, and don't overanalyze their words. Maybe someone else will come along, or maybe they won't. But lying alone in bed, wondering if the man who left six months ago misses you, is not a healthy or fulfilling existence.
