This archive report was first published on 7 September 2019.
Published on September 7, 2019, by Joan Thatiah, a writer who shares her insights on love and relationships.
My friend was once in a relationship with a man from West Africa who seemed perfect. He supported her favorite football team, took her to fancy restaurants, and even proposed to her in an underwater restaurant in Dubai.
However, it turned out that he was a scammer who had been running scams on unsuspecting men and women in Europe. He convinced my friend that he was a real estate agent in Atlanta, a city he had never visited, and got her to deposit money in his bank account.
What I find admirable about him is that he understood the imperfections of life and used them to his advantage. He didn't paint himself as a perfect Prince Charming, but as an imperfect man in love, with a feisty ex and children back home.
He was selling her a real-life story, one that was imperfect but authentic. And he was good at it, convincing her to talk about wedding dress shopping in Dubai just a few months into the relationship.
But the truth is, there's no perfect love, or perfect man, or woman. Every person who lets you see the real them will have baggage, whether it's children, an ex, or a history of being single for too long.
So, let's stop chasing perfection in love and life. Let's teach our daughters about the great women in our history, like Wangari Maathai, who found happiness and their space in the world despite their imperfections.
It's time to stop believing the fairy tale and start living in reality.
