This archive report was first published on 31 August 2019.
A Renewal of Vows: Love Endures in the Face of Dementia ¶
Published on August 31, 2019
My husband, Curt, and I have been married for nearly 30 years. We met in 1989, and our whirlwind romance led to a Valentine's Day wedding in 1990. But our life together took an unexpected turn five years ago when Curt was diagnosed with vascular dementia.
At first, it was hard to accept. Curt, a brilliant and dynamic leader, was now struggling to remember even the simplest things. I've had to take on the responsibility of caring for him, managing our household, and making decisions on his behalf. It's been a huge loss, but also a huge responsibility.
One of the most challenging aspects of living with a spouse who has dementia is the repetition of behaviors. Curt would often ask me to marry him, and I would laugh and tell him we were already married. But one day, he looked at me with a genuine question in his heart and asked me to marry him again. I couldn't resist.
With the help of our friends and family, we planned a renewal of our vows on New Year's Eve. It was a beautiful celebration, and Curt seemed to truly enjoy himself. He tapped his feet to the music, shouted out his vows, and even kissed me at midnight.
As I looked at Curt, surrounded by our loved ones, I felt a sense of joy and love that I hadn't felt in a long time. It was a reminder that even in the face of dementia, our love and commitment to each other can endure.
As I reflect on our journey, I'm reminded of the words of John Lennon: 'Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.' We never planned for this life, but we're making the most of it, and our love is stronger than ever.
