This archive report was first published on 5 January 2022.
As the holiday season approaches, many parents and guardians are eager to introduce their children to their relatives and friends. However, for some children, this can be a daunting experience, especially if they are not familiar with the people around them.
According to child development experts, children under the age of two may exhibit fear or discomfort around strangers, which is a normal part of their development. This fear can last up to two years, and parents should be patient and understanding if their child is hesitant to interact with new people.
However, if a child's fear of strangers persists beyond the age of two, or if they exhibit intense anxiety around familiar adults, it may be a sign of a deeper issue. In such cases, parents should seek professional help from a counseling psychologist or a pediatrician.
Experts warn that forcing children to hug or kiss strangers can have long-term consequences, including issues with communication boundaries and a heightened risk of sexual abuse. As counseling psychologist Jacque Gathu notes, 'When you say no as a child, you are told that you are being disrespectful, then as an adult, you struggle and wonder if I say no, am I being disrespectful, am I standing up for myself, am I feeling safe here?'
Instead of forcing children to interact with strangers, parents should trust their child's instincts and respect their boundaries. As Gathu advises, 'If a child feels safe around you, they will not be coerced to shake your hand, or give you a hug.'
By being patient and understanding, parents can help their children develop healthy attachment skills and build trust with their caregivers. As one mother notes, 'Sometimes my children are uncomfortable hugging strangers, but I always tell them to hug so that we can go and do other things.'
However, experts caution that this approach can be misguided, and children should know that they are in charge of their own bodies. As Gathu notes, 'Allowing children to sit on the lap of strangers is wrong.'
Ultimately, parents should prioritize their child's emotional well-being and seek professional help if they are concerned about their child's fear of strangers or their ability to communicate boundaries.
