This archive report was first published on 7 July 2019.
On July 7, 2019, Kenya bid farewell to Bob Collymore, a renowned business icon. The outpouring of grief and tributes from Kenyans was heartwarming, but it also highlighted the peculiarities of Kenyan funeral rites. As Michael Joseph once said, 'we are a peculiar country,' and this is particularly evident at our funerals.
One of the most significant issues is the clergy's behavior during funeral services. Some clergymen and women use the grieving process to flex their muscles, making the process of holding a funeral service a nightmare. They often request outrageous and ridiculous documents, such as baptism cards, before proceeding with the burial rites.
Others see funeral services as an opportunity to carry out their 'fishers of men' duties, instead of comforting and consoling the grieving. They go on crusade mode, spewing fire and brimstone, and demanding that mourners accept the Lord as their personal savior. This behavior is unacceptable, especially during a time of grief.
The singing at Kenyan funerals is also a source of pain. The selection of hymns is often poor, and the singing is often off-key. Perhaps it's time to pass a law banning vocally untrained persons from singing during funeral services.
Funeral singers, who often mean well but lack musical talent, can also cause unnecessary pain. They often choose long hymns with multiple stanzas, making the experience even more unbearable. A possible solution is to rely on recordings instead of live performances.
Another issue is the tendency of some individuals to show up late and demand a slot to speak. These 'bulldozer' speakers often talk about irrelevant topics, ruining the timings on the program and causing unnecessary drama. Politicians and random relatives are notorious for this behavior.
Minor transgressions, such as wardrobe malfunctions and the obsession with funeral booklets, also contribute to the unpleasantness of Kenyan funerals. The booklet's pagination, gloss, and print run have become a status symbol, causing some mourners to fight over them.
It's time for Kenyans to reflect on their funeral rites and make necessary changes to make the process more bearable for the grieving families.
