This archive report was first published on 21 June 2021.
Dear Coleen, I'm reaching out for help with a difficult situation. I've been with my girlfriend for three-and-a-half years, but our relationship has been lacking in many ways.
She initially broke up with her boyfriend of six years to be with me, and I thought I'd found the love of my life. However, I've come to realize that our relationship is mostly physical, and even that aspect has become unsatisfying.
What's more, we live with her brother and his family, which has created tension and made me feel like a guest in my own home. I've tried to talk to her about ending the relationship, but I always get cold feet.
Whenever we argue, she brings up the fact that I was the one who made her end her long-term relationship, which makes me feel guilty. But Coleen says, 'Things change and people change, and no relationship is guaranteed to last forever, so I think it's unfair of her to hold this over you and I don't think you should feel guilty.'
She also points out that her girlfriend may not have been 'perfectly happy' in her previous relationship, and that it's not all on him. Coleen advises him to have the conversation with his girlfriend and give her a chance to respond, rather than sticking his head in the sand.
Finally, Coleen suggests that living with her family may be contributing to the pressure and affecting their sex life, and that he should take some time to think about whether that's playing a part in how he feels about her and the relationship.
