This archive report was first published on 3 August 2020.
August 3, 2020
Victor, a 39-year-old construction foreman from Kambi Muru in Kibra, had never imagined that he would one day be called 'valueless and useless' by the woman he loved.
However, the COVID-19 pandemic has put that love to the test, and he now realizes how he is perceived by his wife of eight years.
The reason behind this perception is his inability to provide for his family after losing his job.
Shifting Economic Paradigms ¶
The society has unilaterally shouldered men with the burden of being the breadwinners, even when the economic paradigms continue to shift, and most of them lose their jobs.
The gendered responsibilities clash with the realities of financial ability, and love becomes the least determining factor for a cohesive co-existence in the family.
This is Victor's case, where he is struggling to cope with the loss of his job and his self-worth.
Job Loss and Psychological Abuse ¶
Before the pandemic, Victor was a happy man with his wife and three children, earning a daily wage of Sh2,000 as a construction foreman.
However, soon after the Ministry of Health announced the first positive COVID-19 case, he lost his job due to financial constraints.
He informed his wife, a casual domestic worker, of his job loss, but unlike him, her income stream remained steady.
As a result, Victor's wife began to psychologically abuse him, calling him 'valueless and useless,' and even flirting with men in his presence.
She denies him food, scolds him, and even threatens to scald him with hot water and stab him to death.
Seeking Help ¶
Victor had reached the end of his tether in June and wanted to revenge by killing his wife and children.
However, while on his way to Yaya Centre to look for a job, he stumbled upon a group of men reading an article about a hotline – 1196 – free for men undergoing Sexual and Gender-Based Violence (SGBV).
He decided to call the hotline, and the counsellors have really helped him deal with the tension within.
Victor takes courage in the fact that he is not alone and someone somewhere cares for him.
However, he wishes he could find a new lease of life and a job to start a new life away from his abusive wife.
