This archive report was first published on 18 July 2020.
At 22, you're still young and have your whole life ahead of you. You've been dating a married man for two years, and he's promised to marry you as a second wife. But are you wasting your time with someone who may not be genuinely interested in you?
One reader advises you to consider the possibility that you're dating him for financial support and that he may not be ready to commit to marriage. They suggest that you're likely to be his 'mpango wa kando' – a side partner – and that he may not be willing to make a long-term commitment to you.
Another reader warns you that you're not sure if you love this man, and that's probably because of how he treats you. They advise you to monitor his actions and see if he's genuinely interested in you, or if he's just using you for his own pleasure.
Relationship counsellor Maurice Matheka offers some expert advice, saying that you need to understand your relevance in this man's life. He suggests that you're likely dating him because he needs a thrill factor in his life, and that marrying you as a second wife may not guarantee your expectations.
So, what should you do? Take some time to reflect on your feelings and consider the possibility that you're wasting your time with someone who may not be genuinely interested in you. You're still young, and there are many good potential partners out there who may be more interested in making a long-term commitment to you.
