This archive report was first published on 10 July 2020.
On June 30th, 2020, over 100 media colleagues lost their jobs, a devastating blow to many families. Silas Nyanchwani, a friend to many of these individuals, sounded a warning about the potential consequences of this job loss on their relationships.
"If you are young (25 to 40), married, and your marriage wasn’t on a very firm foundation, brother, just know following this job loss, unless you get another job/career in the next year, you will also lose your wife..." Silas wrote, highlighting the potential for financial strain to lead to marital problems.
According to Nyanchwani, the first sign of trouble will be frequent and hostile financial arguments. As the household income dwindles, the woman may start to resent how the man spends her money, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
As the situation worsens, the insults may devolve from cruel sarcasm to an utter ‘un-manning’ of Self. Adjectives like – lazy, silly, slow and ‘ungainly’ and ‘unmanly’ may start to pop up, further eroding the man’s self-esteem.
Denial of conjugal rights will follow as sure as night time follows daylight, with the woman’s libido directly linked to the man’s ATM balance. The ultimate contempt, of course, is when the woman decides to cheat with another more ‘supportive’ (better off fellow), when her contempt for the man has hit the ceiling.
While most women won’t go to these extremes, many will still desert in these hard times – especially if the man doesn’t have savings, downscale housing, has zero insurance, and once schools open, he has no fees for the kids. Nyanchwani advises men to learn to distinguish between unfair ego-stripping and her challenging them to try harder, and if she’s actually supportive, be humble and thankful. If it’s all contempt, he says violence is not the answer. Just start plotting your EXIT.
