This archive report was first published on 3 July 2020.
The Football Widow: Navigating Love and Football ¶
Published on July 3, 2020
As the English Premier League restarts after a break due to the Covid-19 pandemic, millions of women worldwide are bracing themselves for the temporary 'death' of their relationships with their football-loving partners.
Urban dictionary defines a football widow as a woman who must cope with the temporary death of her relationship during football season. For many women, this is a reality they face every weekend, as their partners become glued to the television screen, watching football matches.
For Rose Nzomo, a 32-year-old artist, this is a familiar scenario. Her husband's daily mood depends on whether his team has won or lost their latest game. 'There are three of us in this marriage, my husband, me, and Arsenal. If there is a match, he will stay up until the wee hours of the night,' she says.
But Rose has found a way to cope with her husband's football obsession. She takes this opportunity to do the things she wants to do, like watching chick flicks and going on girls' nights out. 'I have found that this makes me less resentful of him. And I have noticed that when I am not around nagging him, he actually misses me and will want to spend time with me after,' she says.
Not all women are as fortunate as Rose. For Fay Kitaa, 36, her husband's football obsession was a major issue in their relationship. But she decided to give football a try, and now they watch matches together. 'I kept wondering what was so special about it that he could spend entire weekends out at the sports bar so I watched a few matches two years ago and realized that I actually enjoyed it,' she says.
Experts say that football fanaticism can be a form of escapism, and if left unchecked, it can interfere with a relationship. James Muraguri, a Nairobi-based counseling psychologist, warns that football obsession can become an addiction, just like other addictions.
So, what can women do to navigate their relationships with their football-loving partners? One solution is to find ways to bond with them over football. Fay Kitaa, for example, has made football a social event, where they watch matches with friends and family.
Ultimately, it's up to each woman to find a way to cope with her partner's football obsession. But with a little creativity and understanding, it's possible to navigate this challenging situation and even find ways to bond with your partner over football.
