This archive report was first published on 24 June 2020.
June 24, 2020, marked a day when a reader posed a heavy question about why some people stay in cruel and hopeless marriages despite going through a lot of pain.
According to a local study by an NGO, some women stayed in such marriages for practical reasons, including fear of financial implications and the shame of separation. Others believed that marriage was for life and that good girls should stay on no matter what the problem was.
Some women held onto hope that their husbands would change over time, while others stayed due to a desire for intimacy and closeness, even if it meant tolerating violent behavior. In one case, a woman stayed in a marriage despite suffering severe injuries, including a broken back, because she believed that mutual forgiveness gave her and her husband a sense of closeness.
However, as one woman's story illustrates, sometimes a change in perspective can be all it takes to leave an abusive marriage. After 30 years of a difficult and hopeless marriage, a woman in her 50s sought therapy and eventually found the courage to start anew.
Marriage can be complex, and there is no simple answer to the question of why people stay in abusive unions. Each case is unique, and the dynamics that brought the couple together in the first instance might be relevant in considering why a happy union turned to be such a nightmare.
