This archive report was first published on 21 June 2020.
Don't be Coerced into Marriage ¶
Getting married is a significant life decision that should not be taken lightly. In a recent inquiry, a young man sought advice on whether to get back together with his girlfriend who is six months pregnant, despite their tumultuous relationship.
According to Pastor Kitoto, getting back together must be for the right reasons, not just for the sake of the baby. He emphasizes that marriages founded on temporary foundations don't last, and children are with us for a period before they leave.
When considering marriage, it's essential to ask yourself, 'Are we in love?' and 'Are we suited for each other?' Pastor Kitoto recommends a book by Les and Leslie Parrot, Getting Ready for the Wedding, which provides reasons why a person should not get married.
Some of the reasons to avoid getting married include:
- Love at first sight: Basing marriage on attraction at first sight is not enough, as feelings come and go.
- Rebellion: Marrying to rebel against parents or to prove a point can lead to a troubled marriage.
- Obligation: Don't marry out of obligation or duty; it's better to break up now than to go separate ways after marriage.
- Loneliness: Take time to study your partner's characteristics, emotional balance, and drive before making a decision.
- Love on the rebound: Avoid marrying someone you've just met after a break-up, as it can lead to low esteem and poor decision-making.
- Money: Don't stay in a relationship because your partner funds your lifestyle; focus on your partner's character instead.
- Marrying to escape: Don't marry to escape an unhappy situation or to avoid being single; confront life and deal with it instead.
Ultimately, marriage must be built on mutual love and understanding. If we value why we are getting married, we will choose with wisdom right from the start to marry for the right reasons.
When it comes to relationships, timing is everything. Consider whether you're emotionally ready to get involved, and whether you can give time to nurturing a relationship, supporting a family, and enjoying adventure.
It's also essential to know who you want to marry and whether you can see yourself growing old with that person. Be careful not to present yourself as pushy and desperate, as this can be repulsive.
