This archive report was first published on 20 June 2020.
A Father's Complex Legacy ¶
As I reflect on Father's Day, I'm reminded of the complicated relationship I had with my late father. While he struggled with a drinking problem and abandonment issues, he also had moments of tenderness and protection that I'll always cherish.
It all began when my mother suffered a life-threatening stroke that left her paralyzed on one side. My father, a senior civil servant based in Kisumu, stayed put in his job, leaving my mother to fight a solitary battle for survival in Nairobi Hospital. 'I walked through the dark side of the valley of death,' she'd say in later years, 'and came out only half-walking into the Vale of Life.'
My father's decision to stay in Kisumu was likely driven by fear of how he would care for our family if my mother passed away. However, his absence took a toll on our family, and he eventually developed a deadly drinking problem.
Despite his flaws, my father had moments of tenderness and protection. He took us on a foreign trip to Swaziland when I was in Standard One, and I have happy memories of our time together. He also stood up for me when I was beaten by a bhang-smoking bachelor, Mumelo, and knocked him out cold with one punch.
As I look back on my relationship with my father, I'm reminded that people are complex and multifaceted. While he struggled with addiction and abandonment issues, he also had moments of love and protection that I'll always cherish.
