This archive report was first published on 15 September 2019.
Unhappy Marriages: A Common Reality ¶
According to marriage therapist Marni Feuerman, PsyD, unhappy marriages are more common than you think. In her book Ghosted and Breadcrumbed: Stop Falling for Unavailable Men and Get Smart About Healthy Relationships, Feuerman explains that marriages often suffer from communication issues that one partner recognizes and the other refuses to acknowledge.
Feuerman notes that some issues in marriages are fixable with counseling, but others may not be worth repair. She advises couples to pinpoint the tensions in their marriage to determine whether they're in an unhappy marriage or just going through a rough patch.
9 Signs of an Unhappy Marriage ¶
- 1. Lack of Intimacy Feuerman explains that a lack of physical and emotional intimacy can be a sign of an unhappy marriage. When couples stop making time for each other, it can lead to feelings of rejection and resentment.
- 2. Divorce Fantasies Feuerman notes that routinely fantasizing about a life without your partner can be a sign that you're no longer feeling the qualities that attracted you to them in the first place.
- 3. Minimizing Each Other's Concerns Feuerman explains that unhappy marriages often involve one partner dismissing the other's feelings and concerns. This can lead to a breakdown in communication and a sense of disconnection.
- 4. Feeling Neglected Feuerman advises couples to pay attention to feelings of loneliness and hurt. If one partner consistently feels neglected or ignored, it can be a sign of a deeper issue in the marriage.
- 5. The Fun's Gone Feuerman notes that a lack of humor and playfulness in a marriage can be a sign of a deeper issue. When couples stop finding joy and laughter in each other's company, it can be a sign that the marriage is struggling.
- 6. No Longer a Confidant Feuerman explains that relationships need transparency to last. If one partner consistently feels like they can't share their thoughts and feelings with the other, it can be a sign of a deeper issue.
- 7. Feeling Annoyed by Little Things Feuerman notes that when the little things start feeling like big annoyances, it can be a sign that the way you see your spouse is starting to shift. This can be a sign of a deeper issue in the marriage.
- 8. One of You Cheated Feuerman explains that infidelity can be a sign of a deeper issue in a marriage. Even if the couple has moved on, the underlying issues may still be present.
- 9. Feeling Trapped Feuerman notes that feeling trapped in a marriage can be a sign of a deeper issue. If one partner consistently feels like they're stuck in a marriage that's not working, it can be a sign that it's time to seek help.
Published on September 15, 2019.
