This archive report was first published on 13 September 2019.
Expert Advice on Sleeping with a Friend ¶
Published on September 13, 2019, by Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist.
When it comes to sleeping with a friend, it's essential to be honest with yourself about your intentions and desires. According to Vienna Pharaon, a licensed marriage and family therapist, many people manipulate themselves into thinking they're okay with something when they're not.
Pharaon suggests that you should think about why you want to sleep with your friend. Is it because you may want to be more than friends with them, or at least give the possibility of a romantic relationship a chance? If so, you need to be honest with both yourself and your friend.
Don't assume anything about your friend's feelings, as this can lead to a painful rejection if they don't ultimately fall in love with you. Pharaon emphasizes the importance of being clear with yourself and your friend, and hoping that the other person does the same.
When dynamics in the relationship evolve, it's crucial to address your feelings. Pharaon advises, 'If something changes, notice it and name it.' This means having open and honest conversations with your friend, even if it's awkward.
It's also essential to understand that your relationship may implode after you have sex, and you may no longer be friends. This is a risk you need to be willing to take. If you think your attraction to your friend is a passing phase, it's probably not worth sleeping with them.
On the other hand, if you find yourself unable to stop thinking about your friend romantically, and you think there's a possibility of a serious relationship together, then maybe it's worth the risk.
Finally, consider the type of person your friend is. Do they sleep with different people often with no emotional attachment? How did their previous relationships end? Use this knowledge to speculate how they might respond to having sex with you.
Ultimately, whether or not it's a good idea to have sex with your friend depends on your specific friendship dynamic. If you decide to have sex, be honest with both yourself and your friend about what you want. If you're on the same page, go for it. If not, maybe you should consider sleeping with someone else.
