This archive report was first published on 7 September 2019.
The rise of online-only relationships ¶
Published on September 7, 2019
With the rise of technology, online relationships have become increasingly popular. But what are the pros and cons of this trend?
Annabel Mukeni, a 33-year-old woman, has been in a seven-year relationship with her boyfriend, whom she met online. Despite living in different cities, they have a strong connection and communicate regularly.
"We are okay with the distance. We are not trying to see each other more," Annabel said. "Even if he lived in Mombasa, I would still like to see him three times a year. Most of our relationship is on the phone. Even the sex."
Annabel's relationship is not unique. According to a study by Internet Matters, 20% of 11- to 16-year-olds say they would be happy to have an online-only relationship with someone they would never meet. Of those who are already in relationships, 10% say they "speak" online exclusively.
But what type of woman might desire to be in such a relationship? A woman who is tech-savvy and loves the promise of freedom, particularly physical freedom.
"An independent woman who fears to lose her freedom might find such an arrangement attractive, or one who is not keen on the traditional form of marriage," said Ezekiel Kobia, a Nairobi-based counselling psychologist.
However, not everyone agrees that online-only relationships are a good idea. Maurice Matheka, a relationship and sexual psychology expert, believes that physical intimacy is essential for a healthy relationship.
"Physical sex is overrated. Phone or online sex can be more fulfilling as a woman will be reliant on her skill and not his," Matheka said.
But what about the cost of online-only relationships? Physical intimacy is sacrificed, and it explains why millennials are said to be having less sex. A recent British study found that one in three 18 to 29 had no sex in 2018.
As technology continues to advance, it will be interesting to see how online relationships evolve. Will they become the norm, or will people continue to crave physical intimacy?
