This archive report was first published on 2 September 2019.
The Truth About My Son's Father ¶
As a single mother, I've always tried to shield my 12-year-old son from the truth about his father. But now, he's growing older and his curiosity is getting the better of him. He wants to know who his father is, and I'm not sure how to tell him.
It's a complicated situation. My son's father is my uncle, and he has a family of his own. I've always been hesitant to tell my son the truth, fearing that it will cause him emotional distress. But now, he's starting to ask questions, and I know I need to find a way to tell him the truth.
According to Hilda Boke Mahare, a Counselling Psychologist, 'there is no consensual intimate relationship between a minor and an adult.' She points out that I was likely 15 years old when I had my son, and that my uncle took advantage of me. While this may not be the pressing issue now, it's a reality that I need to face.
Boke suggests that I talk to my son's father and let him know what his son is going through. She recommends that I only reveal what he can handle at his age, and then bit by bit over time. This way, my son can gradually come to terms with the truth.
Simon Anyona, a relationships counsellor, agrees that telling my son the truth is the best option. He points out that keeping the truth from him will only cause him more harm in the long run. Anyona suggests that I take time to discuss this with my uncle and see if he can help me through it.
Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to tell my son the truth is mine to make. But with the advice of experts like Boke and Anyona, I know that I need to find a way to tell him the truth, no matter how difficult it may be.
Published on September 2, 2019.
