This archive report was first published on 1 September 2019.
Marriage is a partnership that requires more than just love and laughter to last. It's about how you deal with life's challenges together.
According to Chris Hart, writing for The Nation on September 1, 2019, a relationship that will stand the test of time is not just about finding someone you enjoy being with, but also someone who will have your back when things get tough.
Chris Hart notes that it's not the love, laughter, and excitement that tells you whether a relationship is built to last, but how you deal with the hard times. If one of you is always taking their bat home whenever things get tough, then you're not going to make it.
Sharing similar values is also crucial in a relationship. If your relationship is full of contradictions, and you just can't find compromises that work, then you're very unlikely to get married.
Agreeing on the big things in life, such as having children, faith, career goals, and finances, is also essential. If you can't get those aligned, then you might have to re-evaluate your relationship.
Chris Hart also warns that if you're perpetually hearing 'I' when you should be hearing 'we', then it's likely that your relationship isn't heading towards a wedding. You should both be thinking of yourselves as a couple.
He also notes that if your partner is constantly making solo plans, then you're in a 'right now' kind of relationship, not one meant to last 'until death do us part'. Such relationships are generally all about having fun together, but even in the most enjoyable relationships, there will be times when you'll need to have hard conversations about important issues.
Chris Hart advises that if either of you shies away from uncomfortable topics, such as finances, then you're in a relationship that isn't built to last. The same is true if one of you has a toxic relationship with the other's parents, siblings, extended family, or friends.
Finally, Chris Hart warns that if your partner keeps saying that they don't ever want to get married, then that's something you should really take seriously. People who talk that way generally don't change their minds, no matter how much time you spend together.
