This archive report was first published on 27 August 2019.
My Toddler Won't Stop Touching His Penis. What Should I Do? ¶
As a parent, it's natural to feel uneasy when your toddler discovers their genitals. However, pediatricians assure us that self-exploration is a normal part of development, and it's essential to approach the situation with sensitivity and honesty.
My 19-month-old son, Theo, has recently discovered his penis, and it's become a source of fascination for him. He loves to touch and explore his genitals, often giggling with delight. While it's natural to feel embarrassed or ashamed, it's crucial to remember that this is a normal part of childhood development.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), genital exploration usually begins around age one and is completely normal. In fact, the AAP recommends labeling parts as 'penis' and 'testicles' to help children learn about their bodies.
Dr. Justin Richardson, a pediatrician and co-author of the book 'Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They'd Ask)', suggests that parents establish a few foundational rules when it comes to their child's genital exploration. Firstly, parents should continue to engage and acknowledge their child's actions, but avoid lingering or ignoring the behavior. Secondly, parents should label parts as they are, using correct terminology. Finally, parents should stop thinking of 'discovery' as a stage or phase, and instead view it as a fundamental aspect of childhood development.
By approaching this situation with sensitivity and honesty, parents can help their children develop a healthy sense of sexuality and reduce the risk of shame or embarrassment. As Dr. Richardson notes, 'Would you say that learning your alphabet is a phase? It's a fundamental, not a phase.' By adopting this mindset, parents can help their children navigate the complexities of childhood development and build a strong foundation for future relationships.
As I reflect on my own experiences with Theo, I realize that I need to adjust my framing and approach to his genital exploration. Instead of sending muddled messages, I should tell it to him like it is – that his penis exists, and it's okay to explore and learn about it.
By being open and honest, parents can help their children develop a positive and healthy relationship with their bodies. As Dr. Richardson advises, 'That feels good, doesn't it?' – a simple yet powerful phrase that can help parents connect with their children and promote a sense of self-acceptance.
