This archive report was first published on 19 August 2019.
Love in the Time of Divorce ¶
Divorce in Kenya has become a common occurrence, with couples parting ways after a short period of time. In fact, it's not uncommon for couples to divorce within 72 days of meeting.
Love in Kenya has become a fast-food affair, where relationships are short-lived and often end in heartache. The divorce process can be a messy and emotional affair, with spouses using children as ammunition to gain leverage in their battles for custody and financial support.
Paul Nyanja, a Kenyan man, found himself in a similar situation when he asked his wife for a divorce. His wife, Sylvia, was furious and refused to let him go without a fight. She hired a lawyer to compel Paul to pay child support and meet the financial costs of caring for their son.
Paul's experience is not unique. Many Kenyan men have found themselves in similar situations, where their ex-partners use children as a means to gain financial support and control. In fact, a prominent politician was recently embroiled in a similar scandal, where his ex-partner demanded Sh100,000 per month for 20 years or a one-time payment of Sh20 million in child support.
Using Children as a Means to an End ¶
Hamis, a 44-year-old lawyer, had a similar experience when he asked his wife for a divorce. His wife refused to let go and continued to use their children as a means to control him. She would visit his new home, imposing herself on his new partner and causing a scene. Hamis' new relationship eventually ended due to the pressure from his ex-wife.
Leah, a 37-year-old woman, also experienced a similar situation. Her ex-husband refused to let her move on and continued to use their children as a means to control her. He would visit her home unannounced, causing a scene and making her boyfriend uncomfortable. Leah eventually married her boyfriend and moved on, but not before her ex-husband tried to sabotage their relationship.
The Consequences of Using Children as Ammunition ¶
The use of children as ammunition in divorce cases can have serious consequences for all parties involved. It can lead to emotional distress, financial strain, and even physical harm. In some cases, it can also lead to the breakdown of relationships and the loss of custody of the children.
It's time for Kenyan couples to rethink their approach to divorce and to prioritize the well-being of their children. By doing so, they can avoid the messy and emotional battles that often accompany divorce and focus on co-parenting and moving on with their lives.
