This archive report was first published on 17 August 2019.
On August 17, 2019, a feature on an interesting new dance event in Nairobi made its way to my WhatsApp inbox. The night, dubbed "Strictly Silk", was an all-women party where men were only allowed to drop off the women at the door.
The event's organizers claimed that there was a need to create safe nightlife spaces for women. However, I couldn't help but feel that this was just another attempt to turn women into victims.
As I looked at the flyers, I saw a message that seemed to say, "Here is one more thing for you to do to avoid getting assaulted." It was an affirmation that women were cute and cuddly beings, too tender to deal with difficult men at the club.
I couldn't help but think of the 1960s, when equality was just an idea and the phrase 'safe space' was coined. If we had to have a space for women, a Taekwondo class where women were physically empowered would be a much better idea.
Are women leered at, spanked and groped in the average Kenyan nightclub? Yes. But a dance night that men are forbidden to attend is not the solution.
When we ask women to retreat to these spaces, we are assuming that they exist only in relation to men. I realized this when talking to a male friend about FGM. He was sure that the procedure couldn't be as horrific as I was describing, because women from his community seemed to enjoy sex and bear children.
Instead of inviting women to secluded spaces, how about taking the safety campaigns to the regular clubs? Talk to your male friends, sons, and brothers. Tell them that sleeping with that girl from the bar who is too drunk to stand is rape. That teasing the tea girl about her ample behind is sexual assault. Stop telling women to hide.
