This archive report was first published on 10 August 2019.
Sex is a fundamental aspect of human relationships, but it can also be a source of pain and hurt when it's not genuine. A recent study found that a quarter of men fake orgasms, with women faking them more often, up to 60 per cent, with a quarter of married women doing it.
According to Jane, a woman who reached out to us for advice, her husband's fake orgasm was a symptom of a deeper issue in their relationship. "It is not the first time he is doing this to me," she said. "The first time it happened I was quite offended and I made him know that it was wrong."
Jane felt fooled and taken for granted, and she was not alone. Many people fake orgasms due to a lack of emotional connection with their partner, a busy lifestyle, or fear of getting into arguments. In some cases, it may be due to a medical problem or fear of a problem resulting from sex.
But why do people fake orgasms? Studies have shown that it's often a way to end a boring and tiring sexual act amicably. However, this can have negative consequences for the relationship and the individuals involved. Faking orgasm makes sex shallow and can destroy emotions and well-being.
As Jane's situation shows, faking orgasm can be a symptom of a deeper issue in the relationship. In her case, the couple went through counselling and it turned out that the relationship was on the rocks. There was no longer trust as love had died for ages, and there were frequent fights. Jane's husband was indulging in sex with her to avoid being questioned about extramarital affairs.
Fortunately, with some counselling sessions, the emotional connection was re-created and intimacy developed. This is a reminder that sex is not just about physical pleasure, but also about emotional connection and intimacy.
