This archive report was first published on 10 August 2019.
As I sit at my kitchen table, enjoying a simple meal of noodle stew, bread, and boiled eggs, I am reminded of the countless times I've been asked when I plan to get married. My friends are having children, and their parents are excited about becoming grandparents. Wedding invitations with my name on them have become a regular occurrence, and I'm forced to dodge wedding committees.
My grandmother once asked me when I would settle down, citing my uncle's example. He got married by 22 and had a child soon after. I was taken aback, and my uncle came to my rescue, telling my grandmother to leave me alone and let me enjoy my youth.
But the questions persist. 'Hatujakula pilau siku nyingi,' my aunt would say, poking fun at my single status. I'd respond with a joke, asking her to help me find a nice girl. Or, when a cheeky uncle asked me when I'd be inviting him for dowry negotiations, I'd ask him if he was looking for a second wife.
As I reflect on my life, I realize that marriage is not a feasible option for me right now. I'm struggling to make ends meet, and the thought of providing for a family is daunting. My friends who are married are facing similar challenges, and it's not uncommon to see couples deleting their wedding photos from social media after a year or two.
It's hard to be a young man today. The economy is tough, and many of my friends are stuck in dead-end jobs. They can't afford to get married, let alone provide for a family. I'm not alone in my struggles, and it's time to face the facts.
My dad didn't have to go through what I'm going through. He had a comfortable life, and getting married was a breeze. But times have changed, and I'm not sure if marriage is still a viable option for me.
For now, I'm okay with being the wedding tent and poles. I'll get married when I want, not because society expects me to.
