This archive report was first published on 7 August 2019.
Crushes: The Unrequited Love ¶
Crushes can be thrilling at first, but they often leave us feeling heartbroken and unfulfilled. The excitement of a new crush can quickly turn into disappointment and sadness when we realize that our feelings are not reciprocated.
It's not uncommon for people to convince themselves that their crush will eventually notice them, but in reality, the person may be deep in their feelings for someone else. This can be a painful and difficult experience, but there are ways to get over a crush and move on with your life.
Expert Tips to Get Over a Crush ¶
Relationship expert Jane Greer, PhD, suggests doing something to make yourself feel special. This could be updating your look, splurging on a fancy meal, or trying a new workout routine. The goal is to remind yourself that you deserve the best and that you are a valuable person.
Another expert, licensed marriage and family therapist Lesli Doares, recommends allowing yourself to lean into the heartache. This means giving yourself the time and space to fully experience painful emotions, rather than trying to suppress them. By doing so, you can properly examine your emotions and release them.
Talking to a friend can also be helpful in getting over a crush. Barton Goldsmith, PhD, suggests making a date with a friend, opening a bottle of wine, and letting loose. By talking about your feelings, you can gain clarity on the situation and move on faster.
It's also important to ask your friends to lay off talk about your crush. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it's essential in helping you move on. You can say something like, 'Hey, I don't want to even think about them, so it would really help me out if you kept talk about them to a minimum.'
Finally, it's essential to remind yourself of your worth and value. You are a complete and valuable person who deserves to be happy. Stand in front of the mirror and gas yourself up – look at yourself and say, 'I am a complete and valuable person who's excited to meet somebody who I can share my best self with.'
Other experts, including Brandy Engler, PhD, and Suzana E. Flores, PsyD, recommend going big on distraction, stopping the brain from obsessing over the crush, and limiting contact with the person. By following these tips, you can get over a crush and move on with your life.
