This archive report was first published on 7 August 2019.
Published on August 7, 2019, marriage counsellors Lynette and Tom Lichuma emphasize the critical role finances play in the survival of a marriage.
According to the Lichumas, who have authored marriage and parenting books, couples should discuss finances before getting married to avoid potential conflicts.
Elizabeth and Daniel's story is a case in point. After Daniel lost his job, the couple grew distant, with Elizabeth becoming increasingly critical of Daniel's presence in the house.
"I was frustrated at work. I was even more critical if I came home from work and found him in the house," Elizabeth says.
"The job I held was stressful. I would be like, 'You are the one who is supposed to be working so that I can leave this stressful job,'" Daniel adds.
When Daniel moved to Nairobi, leaving his wife and son in Kisii, he was running away from the hurt caused by Elizabeth's acerbic words.
"I felt like my wife did not love me," Daniel says.
Tom Lichuma suggests that societal norms, which often view the man as the breadwinner, may contribute to such conflicts.
"Couples should talk about finances before getting married. Find out if both of you would be holding jobs and how you would use the money," Lynette advises.
She recommends that couples pool their earnings into a shared family fund, rather than keeping separate accounts.
"It should not matter who brings home the money as long as the family's needs are attended to," Lynette says.
When financial challenges arise, couples should be prepared to discuss and address the issue together, Tom emphasizes.
"And if possible, define the roles for the money that each person brings home," he adds.
