This archive report was first published on 27 July 2019.
Standing Sex: A Guide to Making it Happen ¶
Standing sex is a unique and exciting way to experience intimacy with your partner. However, it requires some effort and practice to get it right. According to Janet Brito, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist, standing sex offers many possibilities for closeness and intimacy.
"Having sex standing up often allows you to face each other for that intimate eye contact, but unlike lying-down positions, you're also holding onto each other firmly as you're grinding and kissing," she explains. "You get to exchange such intimate and passionate energy."
While standing sex may seem like a daunting task, it's not impossible. With some balance, an adventurous spirit, and a happy-go-lucky attitude, you can make it a reality. Here are some tips to help you get started:
1. Start with Standing Foreplay ¶
Penetration doesn't have to be the main event. If you're not in quickie mode, slow things down a bit so that you can milk the amped-up intimacy that comes with such close facial contact. Use your hands and mouth to explore your partner's body, and try out a new massage oil to enhance the experience.
2. Grab a Supportive Prop ¶
Attempting sex when you and your partner are both just standing straight up on the floor facing each other is neither sustainable nor all that effective. Instead, bring in some type of support, such as a wall, a car hood, or a kitchen counter, to lean on and shift some of your weight.
3. Try a Beginner-Friendly Position ¶
One option is to get into downward-facing dog in the morning, and let your partner enter you from behind. This doesn't give you the eye contact of true standing sex, but it'll help you adjust to getting frisky off the bed. From there, you can work up to propping your elbows on the edge of the bed or standing with one knee or foot resting on the bed.
4. Make Up for Height Gaps ¶
If a height difference between you two makes things more challenging, it's not Mission Impossible. Try standing on a step of staircase, or prop a sturdy ottoman up against a wall that you can lean on. You could also try sitting on top of a table or desk that puts your pelvis at the same height as your partner's.
5. Bring Oral Sex In ¶
Oral sex is sex, too, and if that's what brings you to orgasm, you certainly don't want to miss going down on each other in the standing position. Try a move called Praise My Temple, where the giver is on their knees while the receiver leans against a wall with one foot resting on a nearby chair.
6. Move onto Advanced Standing Sex ¶
When you've had some time to get comfortable with standing sex, you can try tougher positions that require more strength and flexibility. Try the Standing Straddle, where you wrap your legs around your partner's body and grab their shoulders.
7. Get Fresh in the Shower ¶
Shower sex can be exceptional standing sex, since you're surrounded by things you can grasp onto if needed. However, it can also be a bit dangerous due to the water. If you've never had successful standing sex on dry ground, the beginner-friendly Downward Doggy is a better place to start.
First, buy a grippy mat to place on your shower floor so you don't slip and slide all over the place. Then experiment with a move like Standing Doggy, where you bend forward and hold onto one of the shower rails while you're penetrated from behind.
8. Lighten Up ¶
Even though standing sex screams 'gotta-have-you-now' intensity, it doesn't need to be so serious. If you trip a bit or end up in a wonky position that makes either or both of you cringe, no worries—just laugh it off. In the end, the best sex isn't just about getting your big O, but also about bonding closer with your partner.
