This archive report was first published on 26 July 2019.
Managing finances as a couple can be challenging, especially when one partner has a strong desire to help their family back home.
According to a reader, her partner sends too much money home, leaving them with limited funds for their joint expenses and personal needs.
She writes, 'I feel like we send more money to his family, money that we could have invested elsewhere. Anytime a family member asks him for money, he simply sends. He doesn't know how to say no, and it has become a constant problem between us.'
Author Bett Kinyatti shares a personal anecdote, 'I used to have the problem your partner has – I used to send so much money home that I'd end up broke in the middle of the month.'
She advises the reader to take control of the household's finances and suggests a solution: 'Have you and him put your money in a basket every month, after payday. You take the basket – you, not him – and from there settle the household's expenses, and your joint savings and investments as a couple.'
She also recommends creating a secondary budget for the money sent home, prioritizing family needs and setting a limit for each month.
Furthermore, Bett suggests that the partner learn to say no and that the couple acknowledge and appreciate each other's efforts at home.
She writes, 'When you sit down to talk about this problem, your first line of conversation should begin from,
