This archive report was first published on 20 July 2019.
As I mark a decade of writing this column, I've come to realize that life is a journey of self-discovery, and relationships are a crucial part of it. At 31, I thought I had it all figured out, but at 41, I've learned that wisdom comes with time and experience.
One of the most significant lessons I've learned is that people don't change fundamentally. If you're a psychotic lover now, chances are you'll still be one five years from now. This realization has helped me become more empathetic and less judgmental.
I've also changed my mind on doing pedicures as a man. It's perfectly fine to indulge in activities that make you feel good, regardless of societal expectations. However, I still draw the line at manicures – at least for now.
Another important lesson I've learned is that it's okay to cry and be vulnerable. There's no handbook on what a man should be or shouldn't be, and it's essential to be true to oneself.
At 30, I thought I had things figured out, but time and experience have taught me that life comes at its own pace. I've learned not to judge others and to appreciate that every relationship is unique.
My views on love have also evolved significantly. I no longer believe in love at first sight, which I now see as a romantic construct. Love takes time, and it's not always perfect. My idea of romantic love has become more jaded over time, but it's steady and not starry-eyed.
I still believe that couples don't need counselling if they're not willing to work things out. A different ear and voice can be helpful, but ultimately, it's up to both parties to make the relationship work.
On a lighter note, I think it's essential to establish boundaries in relationships, such as not paying the bill on the first date. It's also crucial to remember that sex is overrated and that what truly matters is the connection and intimacy between two people.
