This archive report was first published on 1 July 2019.
Public displays of affection (PDA) can be a beautiful thing, but sometimes they hide a darker truth. I recently witnessed a couple's PDA that left me feeling uneasy.
They were the kind of couple that everyone envied, but as I listened in on their conversation, I realized that the man was speaking ill of his wife. He called her names, including 'dirty', 'rude', and 'clumsy', and even went so far as to say that she was a 'bad wife'.
But what really caught my attention was when he picked up his phone and called his wife, using a tone that was completely different from the one he had been using just moments before. He apologized for not being able to find the medicine and promised to be home soon.
It was clear that he was trying to convince his mistress that he was still married to his wife, but in reality, he was just using her as a substitute. He was earning Sh800,000 a month and had planned the rest of the cash with his family, but he was still spending time with his mistress, using her as a way to get away from his wife.
As I watched the couple leave, I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness. The woman was being used, and she didn't even realize it. She was being kept as a secret lover, hidden away from the rest of the world, and she was being treated like a substitute for the man's real wife.
It's a sad reality, but sometimes PDA is more about deceit than love. A man will never leave his wife for you, and if he does, he will leave you for another woman. The weekends he spends with you are because his wife is away, and the Sh20,000 he gives you for rent is just loose change.
So, dear ladies, be careful. If a man doesn't give you the freedom to call him anytime of day or night, if you've never met his friends and relatives, if you're a secret lover, if he hides you, if he doesn't walk around with you proudly, if you're not free to visit his house, if you're prohibited from texting past 6pm and before 6am, you're being used.
Let's be frank here; that man and his wife are building a home for themselves and their children because they have a future. They're running businesses together, planning their finances, and giving their children the best education. They're planning for an anniversary because they love one another, not because all his friends have done so.
So, dear ladies, don't waste your time, emotions, and resources on a man who is using you as a substitute. You deserve better.
