This archive report was first published on 30 June 2019.
A Fantasy Action Movie Set in the Underground Car Park - Two Rivers Mall ¶
Published on June 30, 2019
As I rode a matatu from the Ruiru Bypass junction to Ruaka, I couldn't help but think about the perils that come with it. But on this particular day, I was in for a treat. The conductor, a jovial ageless chap, reeked of soapy scent and bantered with me as I handed him a 1000 shilling note.
“Boss, unashukia wapi?” he asked, folding the crisp new note. I replied, “Two Rivers Mall.” He chuckled and said, “Sawa. Hio place sijawahi ingia….nitaleta wife na mtoi maybe Christmas.”
As we arrived at the Two Rivers bus terminus, I spotted a lady alighting from the matatu. She was smartly dressed in an Alladin ‘House of Variety’ outfit and took off at a brisk pace towards the entrance. I tried to catch up to her, and she slowed down, introducing herself as Lisbeth.
“Yeah, I work with Alladin, we sell attire, locally-made, imported and designer,” she said. I told her I knew her store and had seen an exciting offer last week – 300 bob for designer polo T-shirts. Lisbeth really looked at me then, and we struck up a conversation.
As we walked towards the main entrance, I was struck by the security measures in place. There was a short queue of cars undergoing checkup and screening, complete with sniffer dogs and armed cops. I couldn't help but think about how this could be the setting for a thrilling action movie.
And then, it hit me – an action movie starring John Wick, set in the underground car park of Two Rivers Mall. The pillars, the unique architectural design, and the ambient lighting all came together to create a stunning set for an adrenaline-packed car chase. I could see the bad guys ramming into a pillar, abandoning their CIT truck and opening fire at my hero, running for cover in between packed cars.
As I reluctantly left my movie set, I couldn't help but think about how none of our Kenyan movie producers had thought of this before. Perhaps, when my future wife is tired of whatever she's at right now, I'll plan my proposal right here, with the galactic dome in the background.
My next stop was Text Book Centre, where I had a half-read book on one of their stands. I was currently on page 67 of Trevor Noah's autobiography – Born A Crime. I had to read a few pages of the book every time I came over, standing on the bookstand, memorizing the page, and leaving for errands of the day. It was a disgusting habit, akin to intellectual piracy.
My errand today was a simple one, but special – buy my dad a gift. I suppose a Swiss watch would do, there's a shop somewhere. Then, I'll shop for a while.
